‘I lost $60,000 because of my ex-partner. It could happen to anyone’
The Tinder scammer is everyone’s favorite new documentary and viewers can’t get enough of the incredible story of Simon Leviev and his victims.
While most fans are simply fascinated by the scammer who infamously used Tinder to trick women out of hundreds of thousands of dollars, for others it hits a little close to home.
A woman who listened The Tinder scammer felt compelled to speak out when she realized that many fans were resorting to victim blaming.
Talk to TylaNikoleta admitted that the reaction to the documentary touched her.
She said: “I was reading their social media and some women were calling [the victims] gold diggers. A gold digger is someone who, if you ask for help, won’t give you a dime.
“But these women went above and beyond to help someone who promised them the world. It happens everywhere. It happened to me.”
Nikoleta was 20 years old and had just moved from Albania to Boston, Massachusetts, when she met her own “scammer”.
Both originally from Albania and new to the United States, the couple quickly bonded and soon began dating. At first, Nikoleta was happy to help out her new boyfriend, helping him with his paperwork and finances so he could get a job – but it wasn’t long before he took advantage of it.
The first big payoff came after a few months of dating, when the couple decided to invest in a car together so they could visit each other more often.
After much discussion, Nikoleta offered to loan her boyfriend $10,000 (£7,370) to buy himself a car.
“I said to him, ‘I was going to buy a car myself but you can buy a car first because you can drive and I can’t. You can teach me.'”
Shortly after paying for her car, Nikoleta’s boyfriend told her he desperately wanted to move to Florida because he “couldn’t stand it in Boston. It was too cold.”
Taking the car with him, he packed his bags and moved into the sun, turning their new relationship into a long distance one.
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The two visited regularly, but Nikoleta says she paid for almost everything. As his partner insisted he had found work in Florida, he excused himself by saying his money was going to his family or his credit card “didn’t work”.
During one of her boyfriend’s visits to Boston (which she paid for), Nikoleta discovered that a large sum of money had been stolen from her purse in their hotel room, but no service. Housekeeping had only passed through their floor.
She says Tyla: “I kinda felt like he probably had it, but I didn’t say anything because you can’t make accusations. He was the guy I was with and I I was very much in love with him.”
It ended up being one of many mysterious disappearances during their relationship.
Deciding to turn a blind eye to the missing money, Nikoleta continued her relationship with her boyfriend as usual. But over the years, she found herself lending him more and more money for all kinds of businesses, from a down payment on a house in Florida to a loan to start her own business.
Rationalization of loans, said Nikoleta Tyla“If you’re not going to help someone through tough times, when are you going to help them?”
The couple had started discussing marriage and children, so naturally Nikoleta felt their relationship would stand the test of time. For her, it’s to be expected to help your long-term partner through difficulties, so when her partner needed a loan, she didn’t think twice.
It wasn’t until five years into the relationship that she realized her boyfriend had never thought of himself as her boyfriend. To her friends and family, she was just a friend. Still later, she discovered that he had seen other women while he was in Florida.
Eventually enough was enough and Nikoleta called things off.
Even after their relationship ended, Nikoleta’s ex regularly reached out to ask for loans when he was stuck.
She now describes those years as the “most emotionally draining time of [her] life” and estimates that she lent him $60,000 (£44,200) during this period. It was only after threatening to take him to court that she was reimbursed a total of $4,000 (£2,950).
When the rogue tinder first hit Netflix, part of her felt vindicated seeing other women in similar situations exacting revenge. But when viewers started blaming the victims, Nikoleta felt she had to speak up.
“It can happen to anyone. These people are manipulators, narcissists, they know how to play the game. And if you sincerely love someone, from the bottom of your heart, you will help them through the hardships. C It’s very hard to see the red flags when you’re totally involved.
The Tinder scammer is available to stream now on Netflix.